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Snapple 4 Life: Pt.1
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SNAPPLE 4 LIFE By Tom Apollyon

My first experiences with Snapple were of one of its first flavors -- possibly THE first: lemonade. My dad bought a bottle, this must have been around 1993. We both agreed that it was excellent as lemonade goes and that the name 'Snapple' was very unique. The name 'Snapple' always reminded me of the sound that the tamper-proof seal on the bottle makes when you press it -- 'snapple, snapple...'.


Well a few years later I was introduced to the magical powers of Snapple's many tea flavors. Probably my all time favorite or at least the one I've drank the most of is the Rasberry Iced Tea. Peach being a close second. Sometime around 1995 when I was a senior in high school, into the summer after me and a friend started to collect the bottles. His name is Devin Ott. You probably think I'm making up that name to protect his identity but that's his real name. His dad's an alcoholic and a born again christian who moved back in with his parents (Devin's grandparents) at the tender, ripe age of 45 or so.

So anyways, Devin started to collect a few bottles, he had like 7 on his windowsill. I remember that they looked really cool with the sunlight playing through their thick glass bodies. I don't remember if we consciously said 'lets try to collect them all' but we did start to try. We searched gas stations high and low, always looking for new flavors. There were plenty of limited editions like the Cider Tea's which came out in the fall of 1996 probably. There were 3 of those. You had Ralph's Cantelope Cocktail. Now this one was my favorite for a time. Until one night when I shared a bottle of 100 epidrene tablets with 2 friends. I puked my guts out that night and probably almost fucking died. Really stupid. But that night I washed many of them down with a Ralph's. I then connected that taste, that pure cantelope extract and esscense with the vile flavor of ephidrene and the terrible sickness that overtook me upon OD'ing on the things. Thank god it was a limited edition, I dont think I could even look at it again.

Well we used to search and search, we even made sure to buy all the diet flavors. Diet anything sucks, I hate that taste. I remember the Kiwi Strawberry Cocktail in diet. Devin's mom (with whom he lived) worked for Kelly Services which many of you know to be a temporary agency. As recent high school grads, we worked many assignments for Kelly doing a wide variety and range of different jobs for different lengths of time. One terrible assignment that Devin and I got put on together was working at a place that packed text books into boxes. I worked on like an assembly line. We had no money to buy food, or what little we did we spent on Snapple. We got a bottle of the terrible diet elixir and shared it. Its ultrasweetness and artifical sugar substitutes made it disgusting. We sipped some of that, poured out the rest and smoked a Marlboro Menthol Light or two, a terrible cigerette to go with a terrible drink. I don't know why Devin had those cigs.

Well our collection continued to grow up until and beyond the point approxmiately a year after graduation when Devin left for the Navy. (While overseas, he got married to a British chick, had a kid, got divorced and got custody of the kid. We didn't really keep in touch while he was away which was and is unfortunate and have seen each other and spoken very briefly a handful of times since he returned around 2000. For a wihle and maybe even now, he was living with his dad and grandma in his grandmas house, which now contained 4 generations of Ott blood.) I displayed them in my room which I shared with my brother until I got too many, then I boxed them up with some newspapers in the rafters of my garage. They sat there for a year or two then I took them down and cut off the labels with an X-actor knife. I recycled all the bottles.